The Truth in My Preferences

I have been so convicted of many things lately. 

The one that has hit the most between the eyes is how judgmental I am. 

 I have many preferences. However, that does not mean that all people need to have the same. I have slowly come to the conclusion that although I might strongly prefer something, it generally isn't truth for everyone. 

What is truth? 
The grass is green. 
The sky is blue. 
God is good. 
Jesus Christ is God. 
The only way to have access to God is through Christ. 
The only way my sins could be paid for is through the sacrificial shed blood of Jesus Christ. 
Truth is not relative. 
1+1=2
The termination of a pregnancy is murder.
I have the cutest baby girl. Ever.           Ok, so maybe that's stretching it. :)

What is preference? 
Apples or oranges. 
Ford or Chevy. 
Skinny jeans or bootcut. 
Public school or homeschool or private or charter or montessori. 
To train my child to be quiet in church or let him make noise. 
Traditional hymns or contemporary music for worship in church. 
Dispensationalism or Covenant Theology. 
To eat organic or non-organic. 
To drink raw milk or pasteurized. 
To eat gluten (heaven forbid! -interject sarcastic judgement) or devour that tasty friend, flour. 
One ply or two ply.  (Although this does bring up much heated debate in some circles.)
Crest or Colgate. 
Sam's Club or Costco. 
                          Ok, I'm getting a little ridiculous, but you get the point.

What influenced this discovery of myself regarding this issue was reading through Jerry Bridges book Respectable Sins. I have realized how much pride reeks from my very strong preferences. I have secretly looked down on others who have differing views. 

As I have become more and more aware of this sin in my life, I'm also realizing how some of the issues I once looked down have grown on me and I've change my mind about about them. Over the past year I've been noticing how our family is taking form and structuring; areas where my prefereces are changing.

That's the beauty of a preference. It can change. It's whether or not I'm willing to change or just force myself to stick with the "old ways" merely to satisfy my ego. How humbling this has been. My husband and I have some important decisions to make in the next few years and not everyone will prefer and understand why we've gone the route we've chosen. 

If you'd honestly and genuinely like to know why, I welcome your company. Preferably face to face. Over a cup of tea and scones. :)

Three Months Old!

My baby is three months old today and my little man turns three later this month! We had to take a few pictures to honor such an occasion. We tried to do some little cowboy photos but someone decided they'd had enough. We'll try later when it's more conducive to shoot outside. :)

I just love her inquisitive face!

Not Just A Job {A Lifestyle}

Generally I enjoy my husband's job. Some days I do not. There are times it's challenging for me to understand and adjust to (even though we've been married for almost eight years). He gently reminds me of the good things, the fabulous perks. 

Being his own boss.

Working with animals and not people 

(the animals generally don't talk back, although occasionally they'll receive due payment for misbehavior). 

Being outside and not in an office 

(on -30 windchill days I'm glad he goes out and doesn't require my assistance unless an emergency). 

What a great place it is for kids to grow up. 

This perk never really struck home until the past year as Jacob has been going with Marty to feed cows, check water tanks, pick up supplies in town. It's the highlight of his morning to ride in the tractor with Daddy. As soon as he comes home, he gathers his tractors and wooden blocks and plays what he sees Daddy doing. He could tell you how to load a semi full of hay-bales. He can show you the exact movements of the grapple fork on the loader of the tractor and how it picks up the bales. He goes on adventures with our dog, Silver, completely free of traffic and limitations of concrete. He plays with the numerous cats that make our ranch their home as they keep the mice population down. He helps pick eggs out of the chicken coop. 

I remember my sister-in-law (who also ranches) telling me that this isn't just a job,  

it's a lifestyle. 

I'm finally realizing what she meant. 
I'm finally coming to the conclusion of what the family unit working together, playing together, living together looks like for us. 
We're cattle ranchers. It's not just a job, not just a business, it's part of the way we get to live this life that God has blessed us with.

Today, we worked on a fence as we get ready for the up coming calving season. It was such a beautiful day out and so we all went, as a family, to work together on our ranch. Fencing is not one of my favorite past times, but it was enjoyable being out in the beautiful day working together. 

I wanted to give you a brief glimpse in case you'd ever like to come and experience a taste for a day or two. :)

We are reusing some of this old fence to make a new one.

I had to remove the staples with my fencing pliers, as I removed two of the wires.

If you're able to see the corner of the fence, that's how much I'd already done.

Jacob had originally started with Marty, but then walked over to hang out with me.

Marty started on the east end, and I on the west end. Jacob walked about 1.5 miles this morning. Shiloh slept the whole time. 

Being silly and cute and trying to come up with his own thing.

Someday when he's older, fencing pliers will mean hard work and not just a fun new toy.

On the way home, as I crossed the creek, I got stuck...

Marty wasn't too far behind, so thankfully he was able to pull me out. Not my proudest moment, but I thought I would share ALL the adventures of the morning! :)

 Our home is always open and we love sharing what we do. Come for a day, an hour, a week! We'll put you to work and you'll go home with lots of new experiences to share at the office. ;) 

Someday we hope to have a few cabins and run a Bed & Breakfast. Mainly for the purpose of allowing those who otherwise wouldn't ever have a chance, get to experience live on a ranch.

An Update

Spring is almost here! The past week I've been getting back into my old routine of running. I can't tell you enough how wonderful it is! Not only do I get that fresh air, but I've been able to be by myself.

I believe this to be the biggest challenge for me in motherhood. I love my children dearly, but I'm more of an introvert. I would much rather spend my days alone and come down from the mountain to see people once or twice a month. So, having busy little people around me all day is hard.

Since my last post I have been continually challenged and have continually grown. Because of my need to be alone I restructured my mornings. Choosing to get up earlier in the hopes of those precious moments alone with the Lord. With a newborn, choosing her own hours and not listening to me as I placed her in bed in the evening while telling her she was to be content and sleep until morning (meaning not earlier than 7:30), and a toddler who loves to go, go, go, my days were exhausting. 

Each night I prayed that the Lord would keep her sleeping through the night so that I could as well. Each morning when I didn't wake up early enough to feel awake and all I was able to read was one verse, Jesus sustained me through it. 

One morning I was so tired. So emotional. So frustrated that I couldn't even have 15 minutes alone. I just opened my Bible while feeding the little Precious and ran smack into Psalm 46:1. 

Do you ever feel as if you're just running around with so much emotional exhaustion and then all of a sudden...crash?

But. This was a good crash. 

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." (Ps. 46:1)

"Therefore we will not fear, though" the rest of the earth around us falls apart (my paraphrase of the remaining chapter).

I pictured myself in the most violent storm, finding a cave. Protection. A refuge. 

The part of this verse that gave me the most strength during these hard weeks is what I underlined. Present. He is present. He has not left me to fend for myself and figure this out alone. He is present. He is here. 

Some mornings that's all I have alone time for. Just that one word. Present. But it's been with Him, and He's given me strength. 

I have struggled to be content with He's provided and more and more each day He's provided a little more.

The sweet little Precious has been sleeping through the night for almost two weeks now, we have some structure to our day and I've been able to get back into running a few times a week. 

The Lord has taught me to be content and satisfied with what He gave me. And slowly, He gave me more. 

The Battle Continues On

I must be honest with you: writing this entry is the last thing I want to do right now.


I have been convicted of many things as of late and the need to write them out now is of importance. At the same time, I want them to escape my mind because doing so means I can ignore them and not go about making a change that I know I should be doing.

Much of my life I have dealt with anger. It's easy for me to want to blow up. I don't like to harbor feelings and thoughts within, as then I'm more tempted to allow them to explode. When hormones rage, such as during times of the month and now after this second pregnancy, I find it even more difficult to be patient and keep irritability at bay. I'm also discovering that I'm an incredibly prideful person.

Can you see why I just couldn't wait to write this post? (insert sarcasm)


In the past three and a half weeks since my second child was born, I have found myself more easily irritated at my son. More frustrated with my husband. More unwilling to be selfless. I mean, come on, I just had a baby! Can't I have some time to myself? Can't I sleep in a little longer? Can't I be unbothered by noise, people and my husbands needs? I have sought hard to be gracious to those who want to stop and have found myself enjoying the company. And then I haven't been gracious towards my family. Why is that the hardest?

The world would say I'm justified. God's word does not.

My husband and I attend a weekly Bible study and have recently been going through Jerry Bridges' book, Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate. This book has been both enjoyable and challenging. While it's easy to condemn those who do the "big" sins such as theft, adultery, homosexuality, we as Christians usually bypass the more "respectable sins" such as pride, impatience, anger, unthankfulness. And wouldn't you know, several of the things I've been lacking are what's being addressed in the book these past few weeks (pride, impatience, irritability, anger). I can't say I really want to laugh at God's humor, but instead cringe as I fall to my knees in humiliation.

My sin is dreadful and retched in the eyes of God and yet I've too long not even giving it any consideration for how damaging it is in my relationship with Him and especially my family.

I would like to share with you a little of what Mr. Bridges says.

The Pride of Moral Self-Righteousness

"The sin of moral superiority and self-righteousness is so easy to fall in to today, when society as whole is openly committed or condoning such flagrant sins as immorality, easy divorce, a homosexual lifestyle, abortion, drunkenness, drug use, avarice, and other flagrant and scandalous sins. Because we don't commit those sin, we tend to feel morally superior and look with a certain amount of disdain or contempt on those who do....But the sin we ourselves fall into is the sin of moral self-righteousness and a resultant spirit of contempt toward those who practice those sins. In fact, Jesus told the parable about the Pharisee "to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt" (Luke 18:9)."

Guilty.

The Pride of Correct Doctrine

"If your Calvinism or Arminianism or dispensationalism, or your views concerning the end times, or your disdain for all doctrinal beliefs causes you to feel doctrinally superior to those who hold other views, then you are probably guilty of the sin of doctrinal pride. I'm not suggesting that we should not seek to know the truths of Scripture and develop doctrinal convictions about what the Scriptures teach; I am saying that we should hold our convictions in humility, realizing that many godly and theologically capable people hold other convictions."

Guilty.

The Pride of Achievement

"So whether it's our own success or that of our children, and in whatever endeavor it may be, failure to acknowledge that the success has ultimately come from God tends to promote a pride of achievement that does not honor God. And this form of pride is sin - subtle sin to be sure, but still sin."

Guilty.


Impatience and Irritability

"The actual cause of our impatience lies within our own hearts, in our own attitude of insisting that others around us conform to our expectations."

"May we be as severe with ourselves over our own subtle sins are we are with the vile sins we condemn in others."

Guilty.

All of what Mr. Bridges says hits me right between the eyes. Why must I read about impatience when I'm running on lack of sleep, vitamin D and uninterrupted limitless time with my husband?

Then, I read about Anger.

"In facing up to our anger, we need to realize that no one else causes us to be angry. Someone else's words or action may become the occasion for our anger, but the cause lies deep within us - usually our pride, or selfishness, or desire to control."

"We get angry as a response to someone else's anger.....we can choose how we will respond to the sinful actions of others toward us....."For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God." (1 Peter 2)"

"Do I believe that this difficult situation or this unjust treatment is under the sovereign control of God and that in His infinite wisdom and goodness He is using these difficult circumstances to conform me more to the likeness of Christ?"

"To dissolve our sinful emotions, we must believe that God is absolutely sovereign in all the affairs of our lives (both the "good" and the "bad") and that all the words and actions of other people that tempt us to anger are somehow included in His wise and good purposes to make us more like Jesus."

I have been faced with much of my sin lately. I'm still not quite sure how to put some of this into practice. It's not easy for me to stifle my irritation. I seem to let it build and then it comes out at something else. I don't know how to just not get irritated and let it dissipate. 

I know that God is sovereign. He knows my struggles and knows His plans for why He allows things to happens. I need to constantly remember this through these tough days. I need to constantly be in His presence, for only through Him can any of my sin be conquered. He has not left me alone to die in this wilderness of self. 

O come, let us sing for 

joy to the LORD,

Let us shout joyfully to 

the rock or our

salvation.

Let us come before His

presence with

thanksgiving,

Let us shout joyfully to

Him with psalms.

For the LORD is a great

God

And a great King above all gods,

In whose hand are the 

depths of the earth,

The peaks of the 

mountians are His also.

The sea is His, for it was

He who made it,

And His hands formed the 

dry land.

Come, let us worship

and bow down,

Let us kneel before the

LORD our Maker.

~Psalm 95:1-6

Impromptu 18 Days Old Photo Shoot {And, she's just so stinkin' cute!}

Every mother thinks their baby is the cutest in all the world. 

And, they would probably be right. 

But, that was until January 14th when the real cutest baby was born. :) 

(I'm not biased at all am I?)

Normally I'm not a huge fan of pink, especially soft, girly pink. However, a friend gave me a huge bag of clothes from her girls and this was just too cute to pass up.

So, we had to do an impromptu photo shoot. Dolly asked to join us. We let her.

Already best friends.

I  just can't get over these cute little toes! I just love to kiss them. 

Wouldn't you agree that she's just the cutest baby in all the world? :D

The Product of 9 Months of Work ~ Joy

She finally came!

And what a precious joy she is!

As soon as I heard the doctor proclaim, "It's a girl!" I wept.

We named her Shiloh Rebekah.

Shiloh means "God's Gift." It's also where the Tabernacle dwelt before Solomon built the Temple in Jerusalem. 

Rebekah was a woman chosen of God to be part of the lineage of King David and then later, Jesus Christ. It's also the name of a very dear and godly friend.

We pray that Shiloh will grow to be a woman who seeks to honor the Lord above all else.