Do My Preferences Come Across as Sin?

I am not a huge fan of pink. 
I don't intentionally wear it and I usually don't buy it for others. 
I love it in the flowers and the glorious skies the Lord gives us, or birds or frosting on a cupcake. 

It truly doesn't matter to me if someone else likes it. That's completely their preference. It's not a big deal. It's just a color I don't prefer to wear. 

Some of my close friends I will tease when they wear it occasionally: "Good morning, friend, nice pink shirt! Wink." It's just something to say. A silly uncommon common ground.

Just today I found out about a few young girls who haven't understood my jesting. They have innocently and sweetly thought I found something truly wrong with pink and that maybe they shouldn't be wearing it because "Cristen doesn't like it."

My heart just breaks for the wrong impression I have given to these sweet little girls. My preference was not intended to be serious in my jesting with others.

As I have pondered this today it has made me think of another issue of preference that I find to be a much bigger one and not so much jesting involved at all.

Food and all the preferences against sugar, GMOs, gluten, fast food, etc., etc.

There are many strong opinions out there about all these different types of eating or not eating. There are labels such as "Clean Eating" and lists of "Dirty Food".

I keep getting the impression that unless one believes a certain way about food, what they eat is sinful and wrong. 


Sinful against whom? Certainly not against GOD and HE is the only One I need to be concerned with sinning against.

All food has been created by the Triune God. He causes the heat and moisture to bring forth the seed into a plant. Nothing has been created by man that wasn't from something that had already been created. We cannot create something out of nothing, only God can. So therefore, I say that all food has been created by God. He allows man to change and alter things, but He is still the Creator. 

I'm glad that so many are excited about food- trying to understand where it comes from, how it's made. 
I'm saddened by the attitude that seems to say, "Look at what I discovered about food! I'm not going to eat this anymore and neither should YOU!"
That seems a bit harsh now that I see it typed out, but it's truly the impression I get whether it's intentional or not.

What we eat or choose not to eat is a preference. Regardless of what the health risks may be for my specific body, what I choose to put into my mouth is up to me. Not anyone else. 

From all this excitement about food preferences I keep getting the impression that food has become a religion, a god. I see people who seemed to be so weighted down by lists and rules and regulations of what to eat and not to eat. 

As a Christian, Christ has given us freedom. "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." (1 Cor. 10:31)

A good friend wrote the following:

" 1 Timothy 4:4-5
For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.

Nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving! If what I make is what I can reasonably afford and gives my family nourishment, even if it isn't ideal nourishment, God says it is good if it is received with thanks. If I visit a friend and they serve me food I find strange or unhealthy, I will EAT it with thanksgiving that they loved me enough to share their home and their resources to have my company for a few hours. I will only refuse something if it will lead to severe illness or death.

I am going to become the guru of thankfulness. All good things come from God. So as I shop for food, cook, garden, share with friends, I will be exercising thanks. And I am going to utterly ignore all health regimens. Food is just food; a source of nourishment and thanksgiving. And when nourishment lacks, I will think thankfully. My health and weight results may vary, but I do believe that my gratitude will only grow stronger and stronger.
1 Timothy 4:8
For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come."

I love how she so perfectly wrote this. 

"A guru of thankfulness." 

"Exercising thanks." 

"Think thankfully." 

For in this the Lord is glorified and my relationship with Him is made stronger. 

When Marty and I were first married I remember mentioning with disdain my very obvious dislike for a certain food that came from a box. He'd asked me if it was a sin for someone to eat it. I had honestly never thought that my dislike for this food came across that way because it certainly is not a sin to eat food from a box. Since then I have tried to be careful about what I say in regards to my food preferences. I have probably failed at some point without even realizing it. I may have even hurt you and for that I apologize. I'm not always very gentle in how I say things. Sometimes I'm passionate about things that someone else could care less. 

It is just food. Something I need to live but not something that needs to take the life out of me. 

So with that I encourage you to ask yourself if your preferences about food, or anything else for that matter, are coming across as sin? Are they destroying relationships? For they are just preferences.

Since having a daughter last year we have received many pink clothing items. I dress her with them in thankfulness because they were thoughtfully given to us.

Will you join me in exercising thanks? For that has much more lasting value than food, or the color pink. ;)

Spring Stroll

A few days ago the kids and I went on a walk after lunch. We love exploring the belt of trees around our property and it was warm and dry enough for S to not get lost in some large swamp of gumbo (for those who are unaware of what gumbo is, it's what we call the mud out here. It gets so thick and sticks to ones footwear, causing them to increase in height the longer one walks in it).

This was the first time S has been able to explore through the trees on her own two feet. There were many fascinating things to find. 

Like dandelions. 

 

I think these lovely little weed-flowers were created just for the purpose of small children. :)

And tall grass. Who doesn't love to just sit in talk grass and play with it?

It seems like every time we go on an adventure a sorting stick with flag seems to make it's appearance. It must be a ranch child's equivalent of a sword. Never leave home without it, for the possibility of fighting off dangerous foe is inevitable.

Entering into the great unknown. Trusty "sword" in hand.

We also aren't ever able to adventure without our faithful sidekicks. Usually we have three but only one of the boys came with us that day.

Bush whacking through brush taller than her was sometimes a challenge.

She's also small enough to crawl through areas I couldn't pass at all.

And another dandelion was spotted!

We can't be outside and not spend a little time with the horses. 

There happened to be some hay that fell off a bale and a convenient pitch fork nearby. 

I love how this child gets to go with his daddy and learn all these things. It was his idea to give the horses the hay.

And some more. "They're hungry after all, Mom."

So proud of my little man who does such big man things.

Quick to Respond

Recently I did one of those silly BuzzFeed quizzes, Which State Do You Belong In, or Which Drink Are You or something like that. One of the questions asked something along the lines of: Which Negative Trait do you do. One of the responses was: quick to respond. Out of all the answers to pick that was the one I knew that I was the worst at doing. I checked that one.

This silly quiz prompted a whole character evaluation for me. I asked my husband if I'm generally too quick to respond. I won't tell you his answer, but I will tell you that it made me think even more about how I react in a quick instant to what others say or do.

I am quick to respond and not in a positive way.

I've always admired those who can go through a debate and not get heated up emotionally and are yet still able to give a good quick response when needed. I've since learned that sometimes the first response is, "That's a good question," or, "I can't agree with that argument," or "I'm glad you brought that up." It gives them time to formulate their argument while still responding right away. Sneaky trick that is.

"She comes from a long line of over reactors." 
(From Father of the Bride. I tried uploading the movie clip from YouTube, but was unable to. You can see the scene by clicking on this link:
Father of the Bride clip.)
I absolutely love this movie. Probably in my top 10, and the only chick-flick you'll find there (aside from maybe Anne of Green Gables).  

I think that most women tend to react first before thinking. I'm discovering that I do not appreciate this character flaw in myself. It's incredibly annoying, especially to the person who's talking to me. My husband barely can finish a sentence sometimes before I jump in. He gives me the look. Unfortunately, it's happened way too many times.  

It's not that I go around intending to do this. 

I think this stems from a deeper issue within myself. Selfishness- I think I know what's going to be said, I think I know the answer, I think I know what's best, I think my opinion is so very important that I need to say it before really thinking about it.

Well, most of the time I don't know what's best; most of the time my opinion just gets in the way. 

"Better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

Silence. 
Patience. 
Quiet thoughtfulness.             These are some of the things I've been learning as of late. 

Listening. 
Waiting. 
Putting others above myself.

I don't want to be remembered as the girl who always had to interject her opinion (even if it was rightly needed at the time), but as the girl who kindly listened to her husband, child, extended family member, or friend. 

Kindness that stems out of genuinely wanting to hear what the other person is saying without feeling any need whatsoever to interject. 
Giving undivided attention. 
Putting someone else's need to say something above my own, regardless of whether I'm an expert on the subject. 

Allowing another to speak and be heard is far more important 

if I want to be taken seriously when it is finally appropriate for me to talk.

Good-bye to a Loyal Friend

I've never been much of a dog lover. They make too much of a mess inside, they always jumped on me or barked in the middle of the night. We never had pets growing up.

Then after Marty and I got married, he and Bo moved in with me (yes, I intentionally mentioned that we didn't live together until after we were married and I was a virgin until that day, too :)). 
Bo was a perfect first dog for me because he lived outside but for the occasional extremely cold night or thunderstorm (he freaked out at the loud cracks of thunder and would scratch on the door for us to let him in), and he didn't jump on me and any time he did bark at night he listened to Marty yelling at him to "shut up, Bozo!"

I learned that there's just something about loyalty, non-judgement and faithfulness that a good dog just knows. On a bad day there was someone who was excited to see me, to just sit with me when I felt lonely. There was warm comfortable fur that would wipe away tears as I hugged him so tight. 

Now the tears keep coming and that kind fur isn't there to comfort me anymore. 10 years ago I never thought that I would cry over a dog. My how time changes and the wag of a docked tail convinced me other wise. 

Bo was there when Marty and I first started dating. He was sitting in the back of the pick-up when we had our first serious conversation that later led to marriage. 

This just always gets me-his ears sticking up over the side of the pickup bed.

 He wasn't so fond of me at first, most likely because I was invading his territory, but we grew to like each other, especially when I'd bring him meat scraps.

As I went running yesterday, memory after memory flooded my mind.
           ~Going for walks with me in the snow. He would listen for mice underneath him and then 
             would dive nose first into the snow to catch them.
           ~Howling at the moon or coyotes together. I would start and he'd join in. 
           ~Sitting in the back of the pick-up waiting for Marty or taking a break from cow workings.
             He'd often be under the toolbox and would come out and snuggle next to me. I would just sit 
             and massage behind his ears.
           ~He loved pancakes. They were the hardest thing for me to learn to make and I fed him the 
             burnt ones. He didn't mind at all.

Bozo used to be able to jump into the back of the pickup all on his own, then he started getting old and we'd have to put down the tailgate for him. In the last year I'd have to lift him up myself. But I didn't mind, it was worth it to see him enjoying the ride. 

He was ever faithfully by Marty's side. He'd hunt mice under the hay bales as Marty picked them out of the row with the tractor to load them onto a trailer and haul home from the field. He went on countless cattle drives, lining out any wayward ol' bag. He used to grab hold of a cows tail and hang on for a little swing-I'm surprised he never got kicked while flying through the air. 

He loved getting his belly rubbed. He'd become quite upset if you'd stop and would often growl at you.

Bo wasn't liked by everyone, but the feelings were mutual. He seemed to know who was afraid of him and I'm not so sure he wouldn't mess with their mind and snicker behind that scowl.

He was a great guard dog. Strangers were a bit nervous to step through my garage door where he usually lay, but once he found someone who'd scratch him he'd found a new friend.

Marty and I went on a trip a few months after we were married and we left Bo seven miles away with my in-laws. He was there about a day and was found a mile down the road headed back home. My father-in-law just brought him back to our house and figured Bozo knew that's where he was supposed to be now anyway. Another time we'd had him stay with my brother-in-law three miles away. Brad couldn't find Bo until he came over to our house to do chores. There he was. That smart dog had driven the roads so much that he known where he was to go. 

Hiking Harney Peak in the Black Hills

 

When he started to show signs of age we bought another blue heeler puppy for Bo to show the ropes of a ranch hand to. For the next few years our old dog turned back into a puppy. It was so fun watching them play together. Now it's sad to see just Silver outside, without her companion.

I knew this day would come, but I'd inwardly hoped it never would. So many good memories, so many laughs, and so many groans. :)

Bo lived a long life of at least 13 years. He was my first pet and a great friend. He was a good dog. :)

S & J with Bo yesterday morning; one last time before he peacefully slip away during their nap time.

 
Good-bye, Bozo. I'll miss you something awful.

Warm Days, Dirt & Tractors

Warning: Many pictures showing a little boy playing in the dirt. You might be bored. Or, you might want to join him. :)

Last week we had a tropical heat wave of 40's-50's. It was great! Especially for a certain little boy who loves to be outside and play in the dirt. The warm up had softened the top soil and there was still plenty of mud for enjoyment.

 

He had no idea I was spying on him from inside the house. 
 

 Then Dad came home and the dirt was promptly left.

A chance to go with Dad in the tractor is rarely passed up.
 

Then later in the day, look where he showed up again. :)
 

He just makes me smile. 
 

The filled wagon was then dumped in another part of the garden. He probably started to fill it up with the same dirt. He's ready for the Army. Or, a government job. ;)

This week however, it's back to -2. But, spring is only three weeks away...maybe...

Who Cares.

I have spent too much of my life caring about what other people think.

Too much time wasted:

•  worrying that I was misunderstood in a conversation (i.e., explaining everything I did and why)
• worrying that my home didn't have "curb appeal" or was well presented for guests so that their first impression wasn't one of an unswept garage and disheveled mess (living in rural SD brings lots of dirt)
• worrying how my son looked to other people (cleanliness, whether his clothes were current and not dated because of gracious hand-me-downs and thrift store finds, etc.).

Over the years I have been slowly drifting away from putting energy into worrying about these pointless things. 

• Why do I find it so necessary to explain why I had a second helping of some delicious item at a meal? 
• If my ranch house isn't as presentable as a northern Chicago suburban house why did it matter?
• When my son has been blessed by clothes that I didn't have to buy, or wear a coat to do chores in that I used at his age, what does it matter what other people think?

Most of the time, no one really cares anyway. However, this was still difficult for me to grasp in my own brain.

Then I had a second child.
For me, having multiple children has helped me to see there just isn't time for frivolous things, especially worry, which I'm not even supposed to be doing anyway! 

                                

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. ⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Ephesians 4:4-7

My mind seems to have been so much more at peace lately. Why? Because I'm choosing to not be anxious and worry, to lay these things down at the feet of the One who is more than capable of taking care of them, whatever they may be. His peace guards my heart and my mind because I've sought to be obedient to Him.

When I am tempted to worry that:

• I wasn't able to fully give my side of an opinion in the midst of a conversation;
• trying to make sure someone had correct facts about something that I was actually an expert on, or so I thought,
• I didn't get the garage swept before Bible study, or a visitor coming to stay with me for the first time,

I think to myself, "Who cares? If I am giving of my best, what does all else matter?"

Often when I haven't been able to give my opinion in that conversation it was a good thing because I would have spoken too quick, or maybe too harsh. Or just to satisfy my ego. 

No one sees the time I spent taking care of my children, the spilled milk, the terrible diaper, the immediate needs that didn't give room for the chance to clean the garage. 

If I put such weight in what is thought of my appearance and yet disregard a chance to teach my children thankfulness for what God provided in clothing, I have put something that will pass so quickly over obedience to the Eternal God.


If I am giving of my best to the Lord as I live this life and am misunderstood by it in what I said/did, it is not my responsibility to make sure that everyone in the world is OK with me. As long as I am being obedient to God's Word (in the proper context of the Bible) then I'm really not going to care what I am thought of.

In the midst of not caring I still try to maintain a giving heart-doing the best that I can with the time I have been giving to 1) bring the Lord honor, 2) to take care of my family and the home He's given me, 3) love my neighbor as myself.

When I have company coming over, I do want to have clean dishes to serve them a meal on and freshly washed bedding and cleaned room for them to stay. These things are being hospitable, which God has also called His children to do. When my husband comes inside from the bitter cold, I do want my home to be warm and inviting to him (this included a non-critical spirit/attitude) even more so.


I generally know my conscience well enough to know when I am in an estranged relationship that needs to be remedied. I do my very best to fix my end of that relationship.

As I parent my children, or keep my home, or whatever it is that I am doing and know in my mind that I'm am striving to please the Lord and be obedient to His Word I don't really care if I'm disagreed with or misunderstood in how I'm striving to be obedient to what God has called me to do.

It is God Whom I serve, not man. As a believer of Jesus Christ, it is His words that I want to be the most concerned with listening to.

Do I always perfectly obey Jesus? No, unfortunately, but I am learning and growing. He is willing to give me another chance, and another chance and still yet, another chance.

How freeing this is to only be concerned about pleasing God and not man!

Happy Birthday, Baby Girl!