Parenting

I've been reading Tedd Tripp's book, Shepherding a Child's Heart, off and on the last few months. Love it. Highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in raising godly children, having good, solid relationships with their children and who prefers not to buy into our society's lousy example of raising kids.

Just as walking with Christ is costly, so is raising my children effectively and biblically. The chapter I've been reading deals with communication. Tedd Tripp is all about not yelling at your kids every time they do something wrong, but discipline, encourage, teach, correct, pray, instruct, etc. Building relationships. Leading by example. Taking the time to talk with them, teach them, shepherd them. It's not a flippant thing to parent. It can't be done casually to truly be effective. 

There's been many excerpts I've thought about posting on my blog, but what I read last night really struck me and I had a few minutes this morning to post it.

From Chapter 10, Embracing Biblical Methods: A Life of Communication-Is It Worth the Cost?

    "Parenting will mean that you can't do all the things that you could otherwise do. It will affect your golf handicap. It may mean your home does not look like a picture from Better Homes and Gardens. It will impact your career and ascent on the corporate ladder. It will alter the kind of friendships you will be available to pursue. It will influence the kind of ministry you are able to pursue. It will modify the amount of time you have for bowling, hunting, television, or how many books you read. It will mean that you can't develop every interest that comes along. The costs are high.

     How can you measure the cost against the benefits? I have spent time with broken parents. I have seen the drawn faces of parents who have know the heartbreak of seeing their children fleeing a home in which they had not been engaged by their parents. I have also known the joy of hearing children who have been biblically engaged by their parents say, "Dad, I am amazed at how thoroughly I have been prepared for life. I will always be grateful for what you and Mom have given me."

      What price tag can a parent place on that?"

There have been days when my supper has almost burned because I've needed to take care of an issue with my son. 

I've chosen  to stay home and take care of him, instead of letting him be raised by someone's values that I might not agree with while I pursue a career. 

Some friendships have suffered because I haven't had the time to pursue them like before. That has hurt the most. The desire is there, but the available time isn't. Some people understand, others don't.

Through this all, I know that I'm only accountable to God. If other people misunderstand why I don't help with VBS, or why I don't participate in this or that, or why I haven't called someone in a while and am only able to talk with them when I see them around town, then so be it. The Lord sees what goes on in my home, where my priorities are being spent and if they are in obedience to Him. It does not matter what someone else may think. 

This is hard for me; what others think does matter to me. I'm slowly learning to truly only be concerned about my obedience to the Lord, and not to man.

The costs are high. God has given me this precious little boy to shepherd and lead. How can I throw away such a gift?

July 2011

Favorite Pastimes of a Little Boy {Who is VERY cute}

Playing with tractors.

But not just any tractor will do. It must be green.

He must be prepared for the day that Daddy hands him the wheel. Which could be in a few weeks or so...

Yes, learning to drive the tractors while he plays inside is VERY essential.

Outside, however, is digging in the dirt time.

Just not in Mommy's flower garden.

But he can look very cute while he does not dig in Mommy's garden.

To add to cute, there's also very silly.

And productive.

And sound effects.

The Race

The morning finally came.

It was welcomed by a terrible nights sleep, but a glorious sunrise.

A friend and I stayed at the Lodge in Deadwood (wouldn't recommend it if you'd like a good bed to sleep in). Our room was beautiful, but the sleep was not. I woke for the first time in a while with a back ache. 

 

And all of this before running the Deadwood-Mickelson Trail Half Marathon.

"Oh well," I thought to myself, "life goes on. I have to take the cards that are dealt me and do the best I can with them." (I thought that was appropriate as I was in Deadwood, the gambling capital of South Dakota.)

I spent some time outside basking in the colorful sunrise the Lord saw fit to bless the day with, and reread Nehemiah 9. "Arise, bless the LORD your God forever and ever! O may Your glorious name be blessed and exalted above all blessing and praise! You alone are the LORD. You made the heavens, the heaven of heavens with all their host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to all of them and the heavenly host bows before You." (emphasis mine)

We boarded the bus that would take us south of Lead-Deadwood to Rochford, where the Half would start.

I was nervous. I've never done something like this before. I wouldn't even say that I'm a "runner" as so many there obviously were. I enjoy a good jog, but I've only been running (more like jogging) since February when I started working up to being able to run an entire three miles.

Running by oneself is very different than with a pack. I was soon passed by many people. Including very old men. Wow. I hope I'm that physically fit when I'm that age! 

I've come to discover that between six and eight miles I can maintain a decent jog. Going beyond that I slow down as I want to finish and not die in the process. I started to greatly look forward to each aid station, about every two miles, that had water, bananas, oranges and pretzels. 

My goal was to finish. It was also to run the entire way. I'd been training so hard for this, and wanted to finish well. Even if it took me a long time because I had to go slow, I was determined to run the whole thing.

It was so easy to want to give up and walk.

About half way, I was passed by yet another person. 
This person has no idea how much of an encouragement they were to me. She was wearing a sweatshirt that read: "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith;" ~2 Timothy 4:7

I started to cry. And it made me wonder: 

does it really matter how I run, as long as I finish?

I think it does for me. "I have finished the course." If I change how the course is being run, while on it, am I truly finishing it? I think it matters how I run the course of life, with Jesus. It matters that I'm consistent, that I press on, that I keep my eyes fixed on Him. Not walking when I know I need to press on and run. Not thinking to myself, "This is so hard! I can't run anymore! It's OK if I walk, as long as I finish."

"I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 3:14). 

I keep going. I stay constant. I keep my gaze fixed on the eternal goal, Who is Jesus Christ. Not wavering. Not stopped. But pressing on. 

If what I'm staying is a bit confusing, I'm sorry. The thoughts in my brain don't always come out as I wish they would. I hope this make sense. I hope you can understand the profound effect this had on me that day.

I didn't finish in the time I hoped I would (2.5 hrs). I finished in 3. But I finished. And, I ran the whole time. Yes, sometimes it was very slow. But I ran. I ran the best that my strength could allow and to the best of my ability.

I finished.

Now, to keep pressing on in the race that truly matters.

Relationships

Relationships.

Some come so easy, some are so much work, and some I just don't want. 

My sister-in-law has a list by her kitchen sink listing relationships and each groups priority.

1) God

2) Spouse

3) My Children

4) Family (those who I'm related to biologically, adopted or married into) 

     & Friends

I've been thinking about the list a lot since I noticed it a few weeks ago. If I change the list in anyway, all the rest will suffer. Some friends may think they're more important than my children, or family may think they should come before my spouse.

If God is not most important and given the greatest priority, all the remaining relationships will suffer. If my relationship with my children comes before my husband, my marriage will suffer (not to mention the children as well).

If I spent too much time with extended family and friends, but ignore my children, they will grow up without a mother who they're convinced loves them because her time was spent elsewhere.

Far too often I'm guilty of allowing two-four to become number one. The relationships suffer. The day is destroyed. The moment to glorify God passes and I'm left with scattered pieces to pick up and attempt to repair.

If God became each of our highest priority all the time and then our spouse and then our children and then all others, can you imagine what the life of the church would look like? I'm convinced it would be a refreshing difference than what we witness now.