Wonder and Joy

Last night we had our Christmas. We always have it early since we spend it with my family who live far away. 

Last year, J was too little to really understand. 

This year, we read the Christmas story with him from his children's Bible and then opened presents. We only give him few as he has more than he needs. We've continued the tradition my parents started years ago:  book and a toy/clothes, etc. They used this to symbolize God giving us His Son, and the Bible.

J was so excited when he figured out that inside the beautifully wrapped package was something fun. The little sounds of excitement coming from his mouth were so adorable! We had so much fun watching him! 

He received a book filled with tractors and he has spent more time "reading" that book than I have ever seen him read a book on his own. He likes to sit in the rocking chair in his room looking at books, but this was a whole new level of intense reading. I only hope that someday he will pour over the pages of Scripture with the same passion.

It has been such a joy watching him discover the world as he is becoming older and more aware. 

Every time he hears Daddy start the tractor outside he runs to the window to watch. When the weather isn't too bad, he even gets to ride with Daddy. Tell me about a happy little boy!

Sting

Every once in a while I reach out, trying to mend and touch and return chaos back to order. Chaos I have either created, been caught in the middle of or been at the butt end . 

Occasionally it slaps me in the face. 

The sting is bitter. 

Do I press on? Do I try to mend it? Do I even bother trying again with the great possibility of being given a repeat mark across my face?

And then there are the scarce times when, undetected to others who have been involved in the chaos somehow, my reaching out brings things back to order, for a time...

Do I put myself out there when the possibility of being slapped is greater than that of the chaos returning to normal life? 

I think the occasional good can, for a short time, give relief from the constant sting of the blow.

Sugar Cookies

J has been helping me a lot in the kitchen. He loves to stir things, add ingredients, and control the speed on the mixer. 

Yesterday we made sugar cookies! I don't usually make a lot of sweets to keep around the house as I would be too tempted to eat them. I have two events coming up that I needed something for, so sugar cookies it was! It works out perfect as I can have a little Christmas cookie, but there won't be too many in my kitchen as most will be given away. :)

J loved helping cut out the cookies.

We made them yesterday, and this morning finished them off with homemade frosting. 

J put the sprinkles on them. I showed him how.

Then he seems quite capable of doing it himself.

 After all that hard work, he decided it was time for a cookie. 

Our finished product, thanks to my little helper!

The past few years the winter months have been extremely hard for me. As much as I have to be thankful for, the sun coming up so late makes it so hard to get up early. The sun going down so early makes the days seem so dark. Being in the house with a toddler, day in and day out makes it easy to feel depressed and irritated. Especially when I have to deal with the constant discipline, whining and mess. 

I recently was looking on Medeba's website (www.medeba.com), a camp where I spent 10 months participating in the Leadership Development Program, now renamed Prosago. I was looking through the photo gallery and homesickness kicked in. Homesickness for my former life of excitement and adventure. Being able to leave when I chose, to pack up and go hiking. Being able to only have to think about myself. 

Marty watched Jacob for a morning the end of October and I was able to spend it hiking at one of my favorite places in South Dakota. This was the first time I'd been hiking in two years! It was a glorious morning of crisp air on my lungs, the rush of the wind through the Black Hills spruce. 

Quiet. 

Absolute quiet. 

The only sound was my breathing as I climbed the mountains. I am so grateful to my husband for allowing me the chance to participate in one of my deep passions, however, it makes me want more...

Whoever thinks that being a stay at-home-mom is easy I must tell you, you are highly misinformed. With this tremendous privilege comes great sacrifice. Sacrifice of thinking only of myself. Sacrifice of spending my money on whatever I wanted. Sacrifice of sleep. Sacrifice of alone time (I cherish nap time now!). 

I am so grateful that I've had the experiences that I have. Some days it's so easy to want them back instead of being thankful for where God has placed me now. "Wherever you are, be there."

I am taking steps to insure that the winter isn't a big depression: meeting with friends once a week to workout in our living rooms while our kids play; baking food and giving it away to mom's who have their hands more full than I do; writing a blog. I want to be proactive, not becoming lazy and whiny. Especially to my husband as soon as he comes in the door after a hard day's work out in the cold. 

There are benefits to the cold winter months. It's a great time to relax inside with a hot cup of tea without the pressure of tending to my garden, lawn or helping my husband hay. Being close to home is a blessing. However, it can be difficult for these itching feet to stay put.

So, if you would like to come on an adventure that may be beyond what you're used to, how about a trip to a cattle ranch in South Dakota this winter? I will not only feed you gourmet cuisine, but you can also learn about beef production, the simplicity of living away from an urbanized local, the bright crisp sky at night, the warmth of the fire within. And in the meantime, you'll be doing me a favor. You'll be helping me to pass the winter months with something new to look forward to. :)

The tea pot is always on the stove, the freezer is full of quality home raised beef, a comfortable bed is waiting. 

So, when does your flight come in? I'll be there to pick you up!

Thankfulness beyond Thanksgiving

It is December 7th and here I am still talking about Thanksgiving. I have my Christmas tree up and the outside decorated with lights and I just realized that I still have pumpkins gracing the front door. Who said pumpkins couldn't be part of Christmas decorations? :) It is still technically fall anyway! 

The Lord has been teaching me so much lately. It's so easy to get caught up in the bitterness and pessimism of life. My husband has continually been teaching me the art of thankfulness. He always thanks me for the dinner I make, cleaning the house, washing his clothes and other things I won't mention... :) Hehe. (Don't shoot me, I'm married after all!)

I have been practicing a little morning tradition that has transformed my attitude immensely! When I wake up, I begin my day with Thanksgiving to God for it. No matter the weather, He's created it. No matter how horrible my back feels, I can still move. No matter how tired I am, I was just able to sleep in a bed and not the floor. 

I have in my mind an idea of what I want my house to look like and how I can't wait to get rid of all the lovely wood paneling we have, but lately I have been so grateful for my house, wood paneling and all! God has so richly blessed me. He has given me more abundance than I ever even asked for! Soap to wash my dishes, hot running water to take a shower, a closet of clothes, a car to drive that is fully paid for, a computer that only has 37 GB but only cost me $150 two years ago. 

And then I think of the people in my life. (Please do not think I place materialism before people, it was just what I thought of first in the area of God's provision. :)) I can't tell you enough about the incredible man that God has blessed me with as a husband. How we even came to become friends and then a courting couple and then married sometimes seems like such a blur. I knew from the very beginning it was orchestrated by the Lord. I don't want to get too long winded about this wonderful man, but I will just say that I am constantly blown away by God's goodness in who He's blessed me to be married to. 

Each of those that I am close to, the Lord has brought at such a perfect time in my life to sharpen me, love me and chastise me. Not all am I able to see, speak or spend time with as often as I would like. But even if it's been years since we've seen each other or spoken the time is never awkward as we have the commonality of Jesus Christ. I can't always express my thankfulness for you, so view this as such. Since this is a public blog, I don't really want to name names but I'm quite certain you know who you are. Even those whom I haven't kept in close contact with other than occasional views of Facebook posts. If you've ever been involved in my life in more than just a casual acquaintance, you've touched me deeply. Thank you for your investment in me. 

Oh, how He has richly blessed us. Especially as we remember this time of year how He "emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." (Phil 2:7-11)

Happy Thanksgiving!