A New Name

I recently read the following quote from Steve McVey's book, The Secret of Grace (formerly known as Grace Rules): 

"You may have already known that your sin debt was paid by Jesus Christ, but if you haven't known your identity in Christ, you probably haven't experienced much freedom. When a Christian mistakenly believes that he is nothing more than a sinner saved by grace, he will wrap his life up in rules. He thinks that rules will produce a greater quality of spiritual living but, in reality, as Romans 7:10 tells us, religious rules always prove "to result in death." "A sinner saved by grace"--what a pitiful description of a person who possesses the very life of Jesus Christ! God prefers to call you a saint. That's how He refers to you 63 times in the New Testament. Why would a Christian want to identify himself by the word sinner when Jesus came to save him from his sin? God sees saints who sin, but He doesn't identify you as a sinner who is saved."

I have been on a rather difficult internal journey the past few years. God has been purging me from many lies that I have believed, specifically those in relation to how the world sees me (or how I think the world views me) vs. how He sees me.

I have high expectations for myself. I expect myself to be able to do everything right. 

I can't. 

There is not one single thing that I can do right. Because you see, I have tried to do everything myself. I have tried to fix things, change things, understand things. I have tried so long and now finally understand that I have been trying all this time by myself when Jesus has been right next to me the entire time. He's the only one who can truly fix me. All my efforts have been in vain.

I have thought that since I'm still broken that I must still be a sinner, even though Jesus has redeemed me. I seem to think that I'm not fully redeemed because I'm not fixed, because I still fail. This thinking seems to be ingrained in me that unless everything is perfect and I do everything perfect then I will be perfect before Christ. 

This is not what the Bible teaches. Jesus did not say He came alongside the healthy to make them more well. He said He came to call the sick for they are the ones who need a physician. The sinners, not the righteous. (Mark 2:15-17)

I have come face to face with the fact that I am broken. My life is not perfect. And that is OK! 

In the spring of 2001 He called me and I answered. Yet I have been living as if I need to do so many things to gain His approval. That I need to be able to conquer so many of my sins before I'm "fixed." 

I now see that I am so very broken and I can't fix myself at all. God sees me as redeemed anyway, because I am covered with the shed blood of Jesus. He sees me a saint. 

I do not have to fix myself. I don't have to do anything.

Steve McVey continues with "God's plan is for the believer to trust the Holy Spirit to animate His behavior. He doesn't need rules, but enjoys freedom."

Set free. 
That is what I am. 
No rules, no trying. 
Just being ok with my brokenness and not rejecting myself as a failure. 

It isn't my strength that is getting me through this life but that of the grace of God, because I can't do this alone. The credit goes to what is in the vessel, not the vessel itself. 

__________________________________________

So, with all this being said, I need to change the title of my blog. My web address is redeemedbyjesus.blogspot but my title is "Reflections of a Redeemed Sinner." 

I'm not really sure what I want to change it to. That will take some more reflecting...

Family Photo Session

I have never hired someone to take our family photos. I always use my tripod and the timer. This year I wanted something different. I wanted pictures with our horses while our kids are still little and Twilight is still alive (the Appaloosa mare who is 20+). I can't do this very well running back and forth from the camera to reset the timer and angles, then jump back on my horse. 

So, we had Megan Bertsch from m.linn studios take them. She gladly drove the 60 miles out to our ranch and spent about an hour with us. She was great and I'm so pleased with how the pictures turned out! I just love the sweet faces of my children and can't wait to get some of these displayed in our home. 

Megan was so friendly and professional. She shoots with a full frame camera (which is a big deal to this photographer) and I was able to purchase some of my favorite images in high resolution on CD (which is also a big deal to a photographer who's used to having the images at her disposal ;)). 

Fall Family Adventure

Hiking is one of my most favorite activities. For our anniversary this year we went on a family vacation and took the kids on their first hiking trip. The hike around Sylvan Lake is only a mile and we enjoyed stopping at many places to explore. It was one of the most enjoyable hikes I've ever been on! Here are a few of my favorite shots from the day.

A young man must always have a stick while hiking. You never know what you might need it for.

We happened upon a family taking their pictures at this spot and asked us to take one for them. In exchange they took this for us.

I can't get over the concentration in the form of his tongue sticking out as he jumped from each rock.

The stick became a fishing pole. Watching all the minnows along the shore was great fun.

We also drove through Spearfish Canyon and stopped for the short hike down to Spearfish Falls.

This is the best way to enjoy Spearfish Falls.

Summer Days

Our summer has zipped by and I have spent hardly any time writing on this blog. I have several things I've been wanting to write about but just have not had the time to sit down and type out my thoughts. This past year has been very challenging for me - hormonal changes from weaning a baby, some friendships fizzing out, my home being invaded by my youngest brother as he starts his new job with John Deere, trouble sleeping, counselor seeking. 
You know, all the normal things we're challenged with that just seem particularly difficult for me this year.

Sometime I'd like to write about this journey but right now I'm still buried in the trenches and I don't have the words to say.

So, for right now I'll just share with you some photos I've taken over the past few months as we've enjoyed the beauty of the season.

 Helping Dad fix things.

 First year of T-ball.

 Hours upon hours of creative play outside.

 The fun of our own pool.

 Auntie getting to visit (other Uncle's and Auntie's came too!).

 Watching Daddy in the annual Ranch Rodeo.

Many hours playing together. 

Taking Stock

Happy Friday! 
I found this list on one of my favorite blogs. For some reason I just love filling out a list. I thought I would complete it and pass it on for you to do the same if you wished. :)

Making : Granola
Cooking : Grilled Pork Chops for supper tonight
Drinking : water - my ultimate go-to beverage, especially in the summer
Reading: Grace Rules by Steve McVey, very challenging
Wanting: a quality bread knife
Looking: at the beautiful fluffy clouds lazily passing by
Playing: Words with Friends with my husband and sister
Wasting: time weeding my garden so I sprayed Roundup
Sewing: nothing at the moment, one of these days I will start a quilt. I said that last summer though...
Wishing: for zero bugs in the evenings
Enjoying: the cooler temperatures this early summer
Waiting: for haying to start
Liking: how my husband looks today
Wondering: what I will find when I help my husband go through a pile of old machinery this afternoon
Loving: my precious children's laughter
Hoping: for a good harvest from my garden
Marvelling: at God's grace
Needing: God's grace
Smelling: the aftereffects of last night's storm
Wearing: comfortable clothes
Following: Jesus
Noticing: the dirt on my floor
Knowing: I will clean it...sometime
Thinking: I will ignore it for now
Feeling: tired
Bookmarking: worthwhile Bible-based parenting articles
Opening: the container to store the granola
Giggling: I spilled several pieces on the floor and I ate them
Feeling: free

Do My Preferences Come Across as Sin?

I am not a huge fan of pink. 
I don't intentionally wear it and I usually don't buy it for others. 
I love it in the flowers and the glorious skies the Lord gives us, or birds or frosting on a cupcake. 

It truly doesn't matter to me if someone else likes it. That's completely their preference. It's not a big deal. It's just a color I don't prefer to wear. 

Some of my close friends I will tease when they wear it occasionally: "Good morning, friend, nice pink shirt! Wink." It's just something to say. A silly uncommon common ground.

Just today I found out about a few young girls who haven't understood my jesting. They have innocently and sweetly thought I found something truly wrong with pink and that maybe they shouldn't be wearing it because "Cristen doesn't like it."

My heart just breaks for the wrong impression I have given to these sweet little girls. My preference was not intended to be serious in my jesting with others.

As I have pondered this today it has made me think of another issue of preference that I find to be a much bigger one and not so much jesting involved at all.

Food and all the preferences against sugar, GMOs, gluten, fast food, etc., etc.

There are many strong opinions out there about all these different types of eating or not eating. There are labels such as "Clean Eating" and lists of "Dirty Food".

I keep getting the impression that unless one believes a certain way about food, what they eat is sinful and wrong. 


Sinful against whom? Certainly not against GOD and HE is the only One I need to be concerned with sinning against.

All food has been created by the Triune God. He causes the heat and moisture to bring forth the seed into a plant. Nothing has been created by man that wasn't from something that had already been created. We cannot create something out of nothing, only God can. So therefore, I say that all food has been created by God. He allows man to change and alter things, but He is still the Creator. 

I'm glad that so many are excited about food- trying to understand where it comes from, how it's made. 
I'm saddened by the attitude that seems to say, "Look at what I discovered about food! I'm not going to eat this anymore and neither should YOU!"
That seems a bit harsh now that I see it typed out, but it's truly the impression I get whether it's intentional or not.

What we eat or choose not to eat is a preference. Regardless of what the health risks may be for my specific body, what I choose to put into my mouth is up to me. Not anyone else. 

From all this excitement about food preferences I keep getting the impression that food has become a religion, a god. I see people who seemed to be so weighted down by lists and rules and regulations of what to eat and not to eat. 

As a Christian, Christ has given us freedom. "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." (1 Cor. 10:31)

A good friend wrote the following:

" 1 Timothy 4:4-5
For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.

Nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving! If what I make is what I can reasonably afford and gives my family nourishment, even if it isn't ideal nourishment, God says it is good if it is received with thanks. If I visit a friend and they serve me food I find strange or unhealthy, I will EAT it with thanksgiving that they loved me enough to share their home and their resources to have my company for a few hours. I will only refuse something if it will lead to severe illness or death.

I am going to become the guru of thankfulness. All good things come from God. So as I shop for food, cook, garden, share with friends, I will be exercising thanks. And I am going to utterly ignore all health regimens. Food is just food; a source of nourishment and thanksgiving. And when nourishment lacks, I will think thankfully. My health and weight results may vary, but I do believe that my gratitude will only grow stronger and stronger.
1 Timothy 4:8
For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come."

I love how she so perfectly wrote this. 

"A guru of thankfulness." 

"Exercising thanks." 

"Think thankfully." 

For in this the Lord is glorified and my relationship with Him is made stronger. 

When Marty and I were first married I remember mentioning with disdain my very obvious dislike for a certain food that came from a box. He'd asked me if it was a sin for someone to eat it. I had honestly never thought that my dislike for this food came across that way because it certainly is not a sin to eat food from a box. Since then I have tried to be careful about what I say in regards to my food preferences. I have probably failed at some point without even realizing it. I may have even hurt you and for that I apologize. I'm not always very gentle in how I say things. Sometimes I'm passionate about things that someone else could care less. 

It is just food. Something I need to live but not something that needs to take the life out of me. 

So with that I encourage you to ask yourself if your preferences about food, or anything else for that matter, are coming across as sin? Are they destroying relationships? For they are just preferences.

Since having a daughter last year we have received many pink clothing items. I dress her with them in thankfulness because they were thoughtfully given to us.

Will you join me in exercising thanks? For that has much more lasting value than food, or the color pink. ;)

Spring Stroll

A few days ago the kids and I went on a walk after lunch. We love exploring the belt of trees around our property and it was warm and dry enough for S to not get lost in some large swamp of gumbo (for those who are unaware of what gumbo is, it's what we call the mud out here. It gets so thick and sticks to ones footwear, causing them to increase in height the longer one walks in it).

This was the first time S has been able to explore through the trees on her own two feet. There were many fascinating things to find. 

Like dandelions. 

 

I think these lovely little weed-flowers were created just for the purpose of small children. :)

And tall grass. Who doesn't love to just sit in talk grass and play with it?

It seems like every time we go on an adventure a sorting stick with flag seems to make it's appearance. It must be a ranch child's equivalent of a sword. Never leave home without it, for the possibility of fighting off dangerous foe is inevitable.

Entering into the great unknown. Trusty "sword" in hand.

We also aren't ever able to adventure without our faithful sidekicks. Usually we have three but only one of the boys came with us that day.

Bush whacking through brush taller than her was sometimes a challenge.

She's also small enough to crawl through areas I couldn't pass at all.

And another dandelion was spotted!

We can't be outside and not spend a little time with the horses. 

There happened to be some hay that fell off a bale and a convenient pitch fork nearby. 

I love how this child gets to go with his daddy and learn all these things. It was his idea to give the horses the hay.

And some more. "They're hungry after all, Mom."

So proud of my little man who does such big man things.