Quick to Respond

Recently I did one of those silly BuzzFeed quizzes, Which State Do You Belong In, or Which Drink Are You or something like that. One of the questions asked something along the lines of: Which Negative Trait do you do. One of the responses was: quick to respond. Out of all the answers to pick that was the one I knew that I was the worst at doing. I checked that one.

This silly quiz prompted a whole character evaluation for me. I asked my husband if I'm generally too quick to respond. I won't tell you his answer, but I will tell you that it made me think even more about how I react in a quick instant to what others say or do.

I am quick to respond and not in a positive way.

I've always admired those who can go through a debate and not get heated up emotionally and are yet still able to give a good quick response when needed. I've since learned that sometimes the first response is, "That's a good question," or, "I can't agree with that argument," or "I'm glad you brought that up." It gives them time to formulate their argument while still responding right away. Sneaky trick that is.

"She comes from a long line of over reactors." 
(From Father of the Bride. I tried uploading the movie clip from YouTube, but was unable to. You can see the scene by clicking on this link:
Father of the Bride clip.)
I absolutely love this movie. Probably in my top 10, and the only chick-flick you'll find there (aside from maybe Anne of Green Gables).  

I think that most women tend to react first before thinking. I'm discovering that I do not appreciate this character flaw in myself. It's incredibly annoying, especially to the person who's talking to me. My husband barely can finish a sentence sometimes before I jump in. He gives me the look. Unfortunately, it's happened way too many times.  

It's not that I go around intending to do this. 

I think this stems from a deeper issue within myself. Selfishness- I think I know what's going to be said, I think I know the answer, I think I know what's best, I think my opinion is so very important that I need to say it before really thinking about it.

Well, most of the time I don't know what's best; most of the time my opinion just gets in the way. 

"Better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

Silence. 
Patience. 
Quiet thoughtfulness.             These are some of the things I've been learning as of late. 

Listening. 
Waiting. 
Putting others above myself.

I don't want to be remembered as the girl who always had to interject her opinion (even if it was rightly needed at the time), but as the girl who kindly listened to her husband, child, extended family member, or friend. 

Kindness that stems out of genuinely wanting to hear what the other person is saying without feeling any need whatsoever to interject. 
Giving undivided attention. 
Putting someone else's need to say something above my own, regardless of whether I'm an expert on the subject. 

Allowing another to speak and be heard is far more important 

if I want to be taken seriously when it is finally appropriate for me to talk.